Inaudible Melodies

Cheers Everyone!

2008-12-31T01:59:00.000-08:00

Here's to wishing all of you a Happy New Year! 2009 promises to be a blast and I'm so excited to share it with my family and friends. There's gonna be some changes in our family (moving and stuff like that) but I know that throughout it all we will remain as strong as ever.

I'd like to thank my friends, especially those that I have made in college, for making 2008 an exceptional one. God only knows how boring life would be without you.

So, to everyone, have a blessed 2009 and an incredibly fun New Year's Eve celebration!!! Enjoy all the bubbly you want but be sure to get home safely! Oh, and watch out for the fireworks!

Faith, Hope, and Love,
ASH

My Sister Jaycee's "HSM Broadcast"

2008-12-27T03:14:00.001-08:00

My extremely cute 8-year old sister, Jaycee, who I think has dreams of "I-Carly"-hood created a youtube account that she calls "HSM Broadcast". She would like for you to leave a comment or ask her to sing or whatever haha. Check it out below:

By the way, the url for this is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13vsAbL3s0s

Merry Christmas Everybody!

2008-12-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! A very Merry Christmas to you and your family. The networks are all crammed so I haven't been able to send my Christmas greetings yet but a big "thank you and love you" to all those who have sent me theirs.

Just finished a lovely Christmas dinner made by my equally lovely mother (and me!) and will be having eggnog, wine, dessert and all that good stuff once the clock strikes 12 (in about 50 minutes).

That's all for now, enjoy your holidays! :D

A Day Spent With the PCMC Children

2008-12-21T02:29:00.001-08:00

Contrary to the rest of my week that was spent in an annoying vegetative state (and believe me, I am berating myself inside right now), I had a very well-spent day last Wednesday with the children in the Philippine's Children Medical Center. The kids there are not just stricken with cancer, there are also those with cerebral palsy.

I went there with my friends Jo, Nikki, Rumi and Santi and my uncle Nap. I consider myself lucky to have family and friends who are willing to spend most of their day in the company of strangers. After all, didn't someone wise once say that strangers are friends we haven't met yet?

It was their annual Christmas party, organized by Van der Ryst Events Management who we liaison with whenever we have our outreach activity there every term. It's such a fulfilling experience to know that you have gotten to spend time with children and to know that you have brought them joy for a couple of hours. You see, these children spend a lot of time in chemotherapy and the awful recovery after that. I cannot imagine the pain that these children go through and I think they and their families are INCREDIBLY strong. And so to spend time in a relaxed and playful environment with people closer to their age can be quite refreshing for them. I hope that during these times they forget for a while the uncertainty of whether they will be around the next day ='( or whether they will have enough money or not to pay for the treatments.

PCMC children. The girl with the peace sign in the middle is a GREAT dancer :)

I think when I get older and start working for real, my advocacy will be towards sick/abused children. It's because I am such a believer that the things that happen to you is a result of the choices that you make in life and I just think it's so unfair that these children did not get the privilege of choosing. I'm just worried that they would start blaming God for this which really shouldn't be the case. God loves His children and although there is no absolutely correct answer as to why there is suffering in the world, I believe this with all my heart and I know that he is there with us throughout the pain.

Thanks to my friend Santi who took the picture :)

Blogging (again)

2008-12-21T02:18:00.001-08:00

Wheew. I actually haven't blogged decently in more than 10 days (aside from my Single Ladies post). Here's a little something to catch up on:

A lot of things have been happening recently. I went through the usual roller coaster of finals week (and survived!). The week before that was all about papers, papers, and papers. And the finals week was dedicated to my cramming to study Operations Management and Partnerships and Corporations in three nights. Luckily I passed both and got pretty okay grades actually. Have you gotten hold of that write-up about "how college students study"? That's me in a nutshell. I have to make a New Year's Resolution for that one. And stick with it!

Everything's thankfully going breezy. I'm happy and excited to say that I will be beginning my new internship stint with Chevron :) on the 5th of January. I'm looking forward to all the new things that I could learn from them and it would be a fresh new perspective that is sort of different from my experience with Citibank from which I also learned a lot from.

I'm gearing up for an exciting third term! I have a lot of things to get ready for but just haven't gotten around to finishing them because.... I'm sick :( I've kind of been expecting this, really it's overdue. Most of my friends have had colds this past month and I haven't been getting mine despite all the late nights. (Another New Year's resolution).

Speaking of the new year, I'm really looking forward to making my end-of-the-year post. It's going to be a great one!

Single Ladies

2008-12-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

Okay so I realize I haven't been blogging that much recently (bad Ashley).

But here's something you guys should check out. It's sooo cute!!! I can't even do this haha!

Begging Innovated???

2008-12-10T02:00:00.000-08:00

Since when did "Merry Christmas" become synonymous to "Alms, alms, alms"???

Ugh. I am so upset.

I was walking home a couple minutes ago and this little girl came up to me with a holiday greeting and her hand outstretched. It took me longer than it should have to realize that she was asking for money. Spent the rest of the walk home thinking of how to put what I want to say in context that would not be misunderstood.

I am not a fan of poverty. Who is? I would like nothing more than for poverty to be obliterated. But since it obviously wouldn't happen with the present government, we as individuals and citizens should do whatever we can to help alleviate it even just a little bit. My prayer for the people who are out on the streets is that they at least have a place to stay on Christmas Eve and some Christmas dinner to get them by.

But when greeting someone "Merry Christmas" becomes tantamount to asking for money, it just sucks.

I think I am entitled to say that I have a big heart for children. And you know they didn't come up with this themselves. The parents who brought them into this world without any plan whatsoever on how to raise them with all the basic necessities are also raising them to be morally corrupt. Wonderful.

And it's not just the street children who do this, mind you. Why do you think our airport employees are prohibited from saying "Merry Christmas"? It sure isn't because the airport administration is worried that their employees are of a different religious orientation. No. If that's the reason then don't make it mandatory for them to greet.

They say it's because it makes us look like a country of "stick 'em up-pers". I say if that's the case then you should ban taxi drivers, MMDA officials, and policemen from saying it as well. But they can't really monitor that, can they?

The land of the four-month Christmas. That's us. So I think everybody should be allowed to give their Christmas greetings. It's not a matter of preventing people from saying it but rather a matter of making it clear to everyone what those words mean. It's not a code for "it's the holidays so it would be in your best interest to give me your money". It's something people say to each other because we want to share the Christmas joy.

We really have to give ourselves, as a nation, more credit than we do.

of polar bears and stuff

2008-12-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

I was in Power Plant this past weekend and as I was walking past I saw these Christmas displays. Neat huh?

And the best part is: they move! Haha! The heads move a bit to the left and to the right. Really looks convincing. :)

Good Times :)

2008-12-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like 90s music.

When I finally get my own car, I would probably have a playlist of mostly 90s music. The likes of Ani Difranco, Edie Brickell, and Alana Davis (none of that Vengaboys stuff).

I've made a playlist on IMEEM to share it with everyone :) I sneaked in a little Beverly Knight even though it's a 2001 song and some 80's Suzanne Vega because they kinda sound similar with the others.

Anyway, let me just tell you that I love "Edie Brickell and New Bohemians"! I think the first music video I've ever watched was that of "Good Times". My mom showed it to me when I was like five years old. It was one of the video samples in Windows 95 ;)

Here it is:

Christmas-y?

2008-12-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note:

It took me about an hour last night to remodel my site and make it feel Christmas-y. The background is actually a closeup of a Christmas tree and I changed the font to green. So what I would like to know is if it looks Christmas-y at all to you???

That's all. :)

Random Thoughts: On Billboards

2008-12-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

I would really love to be a Brand Manager someday. Maybe in 4 years time? Hopefully.
So I was really interested when it came to my Market3 class and I am thankful that I learned a lot of great insights from our professor. Sometimes me and my friend Joanna would have "nerdy" discussions about everyday stuff wherein we would inject topics that we learned in class... okay I'm being a nerd again.

I was on the train yesterday and was in the middle of a somewhat peaceful ride. It was barely the rush hour yet and people weren't pushing that much. Plus, I got to sit down because the station where I get on is the last (or first) one so there's still space for everybody. Anyway, I was looking out the window and you know how EDSA is. Billboards EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me that there are literally hundreds of billboards in EDSA. I was looking at them and my mind just started to wander and I started thinking of all these random thoughts.

EDSA is such a long stretch of road. This isn't even 1/16th of it.
I didn't take this picture but thanks to the one who did :)

One thing that really boggled me before was why clothing companies bothered to put up billboards. I mean, wouldn't they just be better off printing catalogs? The average person looks at a billboard for three seconds (and hopefully shorter when you're driving). That is hardly enough time for him/her to scrutinize the clothes that you have on the billboard. Besides, the number of clothes you could squeeze in there is dependent on how many models would fit. What is the ratio of that versus the actual number of clothes that you store actually sells?

And then it hit me. I think I was looking at a Folded and Hung ad and you couldn't even see the clothes on the model. I realized that clothing companies don't really use their billboards to show off the clothes. They are trying to show off the identity of the BRAND. The whole visual aesthetics are arranged in such a way that it would trigger something on the mind of the customer and eventually get stored there until it's time for her to go shopping again. Maybe when I am trying to shop for a certain style or look, I subconsciously browse through all the ads that I have seen and look for a brand that is most likely to have what I am looking for.

Brands that sell corporate attire for women have billboards that look sophisticated, not a lot of pink, mostly dark colors. The model is usually striking a powerful, confident pose. Those that have regular teenagers as their market (Penshoppe?) have billboards that have really bold, striking colors.

And.. I think we all know what GUESS is trying to sell.

One billboard that I found very interesting (it's a long train ride okay?) is that of Levi's. There's absolutely zero pictures of any of their products on it. It's just a picture of two punk kids, one guy with a shaved head. And it's all black and white. I'm so sad that I can't find a picture of it online, might have to take one myself. Apparently they are having a photo contest. The entries have to tell a story and a history. On top of the billboard I just described was another photo of a person and he's doing a bridge stand across a dividing line. (What I wouldn't do for a picture of that right now). I think the story there is that the person is in two places at one time. I'll dwell on this more once I get the pictures.

So yeah, I realize now that it's not to show the clothes but the image of the brand that billboards are used for.

The Snow Queen

2008-12-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

Hans Christian Andersen is one of my favorite fiction authors even as a child. One of his best works, for me, is The Snow Queen. It tells the story of a young boy who got his heart frozen and was lured by The Snow Queen and about his friend who saved him from being trapped in her kingdom.

I remember having this crush on Kay (the little boy) when I was still a little girl myself. I would have loved to be Gerda and share this innocent friendship with him. Hmm.. might not be that innocent. I mean, she travelled halfway across the world to save him from very scary people.

The story, told in seven parts, makes for a very nice read. You guys should check it out sometime.

Papers Galore

2008-12-02T07:08:00.001-08:00

ugh.

I cannot wait until we're done with all our papers. I love writing but only when it's about stuff I am interested in.

On the bright side (hey waddaya know there is a bright side), at least we're done with these papers tomorrow and only have finals left to study for. Hmm that is another worry for another day.

Ashley's Honest-To-Goodness Christmas Wish List

2008-11-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's December 1! Woohoo! It's officially the start of the Christmas season!

So finally.. here's my honest-to-goodness Christmas wish list. I know, I know, it's overdue (since I said a couple nights ago that I would post it the following morning) but a lot of things in my life are overdue right now.

I decided to write a normal Christmas wish list because, come on, the one I posted before was ridiculous. But hey you know, if you happen to have a million dollars lying around...(kiddin').

CDs

First up on my list:

Erykah Badu's debut album: Baduizm.

You'll find out in a later post how much I love her music.

India Arie's Acoustic Soul album.

Or the Voyage to India one.

Who doesn't like Corinne Bailey Rae??? She has a very soothing voice and her music reminds me of Tori Amos and Sade.

Meiko is my favorite indie artist :)

Check out her songs like "Reasons to Love You" and "Under My Bed"

DVDs:

My friend France introduced me to this series. I like it very much because it's very informative and has a hint of humor in it at the same time. If you ask me, I prefer to watch sitcoms any day but House is really something else.

I love What I Like About You!!! :)
Sadly, I can't find all the episodes online. So a box set would be lovely. ^_^

BOOKS:

Skinny Bitch in the Kitch. Sounds like an interesting read.

I love cookbooks but they're so darn expensive.

Holly Golightly sleep mask :)

Hmm.. I can't really think of anymore right now. I will update this when I think of something :)

The Great 44 Hour Day

2008-11-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

My friend Nikki did a speech for our SPEECOM class and it was about sleep deprivation. Frankly the details of that presentation escape me now because....

I AM SLEEP-DEPRIVED :(

I've had a forty-four (going on forty-five) hour day starting Wednesday. I feel so lost, like I'm treading deep water, and my body seems to not have accepted yet that it's almost Friday. This whole time I've been running on three cups of coffee (very proud of myself because I've only had three!)

Why am I sleep-deprived? We wanted to do our MANARES paper before partying on Friday. And well, it did pay off because we were able to pass it this afternoon.

I shall do my honest-to-goodness blog entry tomorrow. Watch out for it!

In the meantime, I have to get some rest. Have 5 hours of sleep available to me before waking up at 5am to get ready for the outreach. Oh the things you do for love.

Nytynyt everyone!

Just A Thought

2008-11-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

A quote I'd like to share, from Kenneth Blanchard (The One Minute Manager) who is one of my favorite Management authors:

"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority."

Got an email today that wasn't very nice.

I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take.

Ashley's Christmas Movies To Watch

2008-11-22T08:12:00.000-08:00

Here's my list of Christmas movies that I absolutely have to watch (not in any particular order) this holiday season:

Scrooged. 1988.
A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve.

The Santa Clause. 1994.
When a man inadvertantly kills Santa on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place.

The Santa Clause 2. 2002.
Scott Calvin has been a humble Santa Claus for nearly ten years, but it might come to an end if he doesn't find a Mrs. Claus.

Wow, it really took them almost ten years to make a sequel? Talk about realistic.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. 2006.
Santa, aka Scott Calvin, is faced with double-duty: how to keep his new family happy, and how to stop Jack Frost from taking over Christmas.

A Christmas Carol. 1999.
Scrooge is a miserly old businessman in 1840's London. One Christmas Eve he is visited by the ghost of Marley, his dead business partner. Marley foretells that Scrooge will be visited by three spirits, each of whom will attempt to show Scrooge the error of his ways.

Is this a good version? Can someone suggest which is the best one?

Love Actually. 2003.
Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely and interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.

Ahh Love Actually. Fantastic movie. Will watch again.

The Shop Around The Corner. 1940.
Two employees at a gift shop can barely stand one another, without realizing that they're falling in love through the post as each other's anonymous pen pal.

Sounds like an oldie but goodie one.

Miracle on 34th Street. 1947.
When a nice old man who claims to be Santa Claus is institutionalized as insane, a young lawyer decides to defend him by arguing in court that he is the real thing.

Another old movie. Cue in quarter life crisis!

The Nightmare Before Christmas. 1993.
Jack Skellington, king of Halloweentown, discovers Christmas Town, but doesn't quite understand the concept.

Of course, the Tim Burton classic. Isn't Jack Skellington a cutie? Hahaha... I love Tim Burton movies, would love to act in one! Of course, they'd have to teach me how to act first!

I'll be adding more as we get closer and closer to Christmas. Please suggest more movies for me to watch :)

Laid Back Saturday

2008-11-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

Lovely Saturday :) Didn't have to go to school today so I was able to enjoy the full essence of a weekend. I went back to sleep again after watching The Covenant (swoon!) on HBO and woke up around 5pm. Had coffee with my mom, which is one of my favorite things, and talked about some things.

I just finished my Bridget Jones's Diary DVD marathon (saw part 1 and part 2) and I have to admit Mark Darcy is, like, the perfect guy. Save of course that I imagine my perfect guy would be more affectionate and, I have to admit, younger and cuter. Maybe take Daniel Cleaver's looks and Mark Darcy's all-around good smart guy-ness. Dreamy!

P.S. Happy birthday to my dear friend Joanna! :) Also to my lovely cousin Jamie! :)

I am not my hair, I am not this skin

2008-11-17T17:46:00.000-08:00

It breaks my heart that all those skin whitening ads are running rampant these days. Yeah, they are more rampant now than they were before. Might sound odd and people might not buy what I'm going to say because I'm fair-skinned and they'll go "Well you wouldn't understand would you? because you're light skinned and so blablablabla".

Actually I think there would actually be merit to what I would say. I would be talking from the "other side" point of view and I would be telling you that the grass is not always greener on the other side. The same way that people with dark skin are trying to get lighter skin, people who are light-skinned are trying to tan themselves especially to emulate that wonderful tropical glow that so many women here in the Philippines are so blessed to have. I never get tanned the way I want to and even if I do get darker, it disappears the next day. So I guess I have no other option but to go to a tanning salon (which we don't have here I think?) or put on self-tanning lotion. Well the bad news is that I don't want to try any of those things because I would really much rather that nature take its own course.

Why can't we just love who we are?

If you don't love yourself, who will? Sounds cliche I know but it's true!

I do see the sense in whitening your teeth or your elbows but only because it signifies that something is wrong (like you don't brush enough or you lean on your elbows too much). To deliberately change your skin color when it is so absolutely beautiful also signifies that something is wrong: with your self-esteem. Because the media shows it to be so? But come on people, we can't blame EVERYTHING on the media. Maybe we're just really too gullible???

The point to all these ranting is that you really have to learn to love yourself and to stop looking at your flaws. I'm guilty of this too but one thing I'm not guilty about is obsessing over my skin color. Stop trying to interfere with nature. Your color signifies your ethnicity, your background which is something that you should be proud of. I'm proud of my Filipino origin and I will embrace it to death. I'm proud of my Canadian/Irish/German (right dad?) background too and I noticed that having deep set eyes is not one of our features. That doesn't mean I'll undergo eye-widening surgery, if there's such a thing.

One of my favorite makeup artists (although she has never done my face but I really hope she'll get to in the future) is named Carmindy. She wrote this amazing book on makeup application and one of the doctrines she adheres to is that you should not contour. She never contours. What she does it to get the subject's best feature and to enhance and highlight it in such a way that people will not notice that she has big cheeks or a long chin because they are too mesmerized by the beauty of her eyes or the fullness of her lips. The really sad thing is that no matter how much you convince people to embrace what they are given, you have all these billboards along EDSA showing celebrities who once had beautiful brown skin and now they just look freaky. Like little Michael Jacksons walking around with unnaturally white skin. Like geishas except that they're whole body is covered in powder.

And don't get me started on the side effects of using cheap skin whitening creams.

That's just where I stand. If you still want to whiten your skin then to each his own I guess. As long as it makes you happy but please, don't go overboard.

Like this is okay:

because you're trying to get rid of the normal discoloration that comes when you stay out in the sun too much.

But this:

is just crazy.

Written in the Stars?

2008-11-17T17:15:00.000-08:00

I want to write a story. Always have wanted to write one. It's just really scary because one, I don't know where to begin and two, I don't know how to end it. But if I do write something in the near future, I want it to be in a medium that is very new and very different. I actually already have one in mind but cannot tell you!:)

So yeah, I need ideas and lots of it. I need to do some people watching and maybe make up a story about why those people are acting that way. I remember in high school my friends and I would make fun by watching a group of people and make up things that they might be saying. It's hard to explain without actually showing you but I hope you get the point.

Most of all, I need moral support. Whenever I read a book, I look at the author's thank-you page and they have lots and lots of people to be thankful to. I'm sure I'll have a long-list as well. I'll pray on it before I get started because it would take a lot of commitment and a lot of inspirational outbursts. But they say the first thing you need to be successful at something is to have a genuine interest in it and that I have.

BRIDGET

2008-11-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading the book Bridget Jones's Diary.

Here's the description from the book cover:

Meet Bridget Jones - a 30-something Singleton who is certain she would have all the answers if she could:
a) lose 7 pounds
b) stop smoking
c) develop Inner Poise

I'm telling you, I could not put this book down! I was even reading it during a talk we had for our Human Resources class. Maybe because in some way I could relate to Bridget? Not in the sense that I am a 30-something Singleton (because I'm not, 30 that is, I am Single). Anyway, want to know why I could relate to her? Here's an excerpt from one of her typical days:

Bridget needs to get some work done before she goes on her mini-break.

11am: Right: am going to concentrate now.

11:25am. Hmmm, got a bit of a scratchy nail.

11:50am. Hmmm. Nail really is scratchy. Actually if don't do something about it I'll start picking at it and next thing I'll have no fingernail left. Right, I'd better go and find an emery board. Come to think of it, this nail varnish generally is looking a bit scrotty. I really need to take it all off and start again. Might as well do it now while I think about it.

Noon. It is such a bloody bore when the weather is so hot and one's soi-distant boyfriend refuses to go anywhere nice with you. Feel he thinks I am trying to trap him into a mini-break; as if it were not a mini-break but marriage, three kids and cleaning out the toilet in house full of stripped pine in Stoke Newington. I think this is turning into a psychological crisis. I'm going to call Tom (can always do the stuff this evening).

*Tom is Bridget's gay friend.

12:30pm. Hmmm. Tom says if you go mini-breaking with somebody you are having a relationship with you spend the whole time worrying about how the relationship is going, so it is better just to go with a friend. I'm going to meet Tom tonight with brochures to plan fantasy, or phantom mini-break. So I must work really hard this afternoon.

12:40pm. These shorts and T-shirt are too uncomfortable in this heat. I'm going to change into a long floaty dress.

12:55pm. That's better.

1pm. Lunchtime! At last a bit of time off.

2pm. OK, so this afternoon I am really going to work and get everything done before the evening, then can go out. V. sleepy, though. It's so hot. Maybe I'll just close my eeys for five minutes. Catnaps are said to be an excellent way of reviving oneself. used to excellent effect by Margaret Thatcher and Winston Churchill. Good idea. Maybe I'll lie down on the bed.

7:30pm. Oh, bloody hell.

So yeah, you get the picture. :) Really annoying habit of mine epitomized in a book by Helen Fielding.

The Reveled Revel Bars

2008-11-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I've been telling a couple people these past few years how I am such a frustrated baker. I am that way because number one, my family isn't big on eating baked desserts (one cookie every night before bed or one after dinner would probably be it). And number two, the stuff I bake never seem to come out right. I mean they taste good and everything but I somehow always ruin the presentation. Sometimes I slice it too early that everything just crumbles.

I tried baking revel bars for the first time last month. My good friend was asking for some so I promised to make them. When I did, I once again made a mistake on the presentation part. The revel bars I made were really really thick (not consistency thick but makapal-thick) because I used the wrong pan. But I was very happy because people liked them a lot. :D

For the first day of the collection of our Be My Santa Christmas Drive, I decided to bake revel bars for my friends and cookies for the "Santas". (No self-respecting Santa Claus will leave without a cookie!) I got myself a nasty burn on both thumbs in the process but hey, that's what you do for love!

Too bad I didn't get to take pictures of the cookies. I made them small and bite-sized and had around 140 all in all.

Maybe I Don't Want To Grow Up???

2008-11-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

Don't you sometimes wish that other people can make the decisions for you? Wouldn't it just be so easy if you were eight years old and your parents had the last say?

It's so hard being an adult sometimes. Listen to me, I've only been officially an adult for less than a year and already I feel this way. I guess I feel like this because even though I've only been an adult this year, I've been in college since 2006. In grade school or high school, when you mess up your teachers call your parents and they sort out the matter amongst themselves. Now, in college, we have to take care of our affairs by ourselves because we are expected to be mature enough to do so.

My parents have always been very supportive of my decisions. They didn't impose anything on me when I was deciding on the course I would like to take up and really did not try to decide on which university I should enter. The only criteria my mom had, if I remember correctly, was to get into one of the top three schools. And when I got accepted on those three schools..well let's just say they didn't try to interfere anymore after that. That was one of the many times that I felt like the world would be a much better place if parents can make the decision for their children their whole lives. True, it may be a horrible thing when you actually look at it, but during those times of confusion and uncertainty, I would have given anything for that to happen.

But I think it is fate's way of telling us that we ultimately have to grow up. Not just grow old, grow up. We should live our lives for ourselves and not for any other person because in the end it will be the face in our mirror that we have to defend our choices to. I guess if you had someone else making the decisions for you, it would be easier to place the blame on somebody. You could go "well, I didn't become a doctor because my parents didn't want me to", or "I chose the wrong guy because the family wanted someone else for me". That would be easier than saying "I didn't get what I want and now I'm not happy because I didn't allow myself to be and I made the wrong decision for myself."

Where's the sense of accountability in that?

If that's the case, we put our lives and our happiness on the hands of other people and we blame them in the end if it doesn't work out. When you put other people in charge of those two important things, you get results that work for them and their happiness.

I know deep inside that all these is true and correct. But I'm at a point in my life where I again face an uncertainty and I'm again wishing that it is possible for other people to make my choices. I know that I would never allow that to happen, much as I want it to, but it's really easier said than done isn't it?

Lasallian Retreat

2008-11-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

Had our Lasallian Retreat (LASARE3) last November 7-8 in Light of the World Silang Cavite. We were supposed to have it in Batangas but due to some unforeseen events we had to bunk with the other sections. We were kind of disappointed at first, because Batangas would have been so much nicer, but Cavite's beautiful as well.

see?

Anyway, what was really weird about the place was our "bedroom". See, since we were transferred from one retreat center to another, the place we got transferred into did not have enough single rooms to accommodate all the participants. So while the other girls and boys got two people in one room, the rest of us have to share with a lot of people in one room. Kind of like a dormitory. It's okay though, for two reasons. One, I got to spend the night with all of the friends I came there with (Nikki, Jo, Jacq, and Helen). And two, at least we got a room and didn't have to spend the night on double beds out in the sala. Be thankful for small favors and all that.

Let's go back to the "bedroom" story. The room was not actually a bedroom but a bathroom that was turned into the former. At first I just thought that the room looked a bit weird but when we have spent quite some time inside it, I realized that the reason it looked strange was because it had tiles on the walls!

As if that wasn't enough giveaway, it had old plumbings too!!!
The whole thing's really funny if you think about it.

But I learned a lot during the retreat. I learned some things about myself that I might have known all along but never really had the chance to explore. I wasn't particularly excited about the idea of going on an overnight retreat before. Being away from technology and not being able to check my e-mail for a whole night did not sound so appealing to me. I have to admit though, it is very important for college juniors or seniors to really allot a time like this to reconnect with ourselves and with the Lord. With all of the things that we have to think about in school, extra-curriculars, and our personal lives, it is quite inevitable that we lose touch with ourselves.

During the retreat, I also got the chance to take confession. In our Church, we don't normally have confession rites so it's been quite some time since I have done it the last time. The experience I had during the confession itself was nothing compared to what I shared with God while I was waiting in line for the confession booth. I took some time away by myself to really focus on what I have to say sorry for and there's quite a lot. What happened while I was waiting is quite personal so I won't be publishing it here.

Of course, one of the things that makes anything special is if you have good friends to share it with. I had four great friends to share the retreat with: namely Joanna, Nikki, Jacq, and Helen. That day gave us a chance to share with each other deeper things because the setting allowed us to do so. I'm very thankful to have been given friends that I could share something that deep with. I'm grateful that we more or less share the same values and so we look out for each other and make sure that we stay aligned with those values.

We made a time capsule, one that we would open after five years. Joanna is in charge of keeping the time capsule and making sure that we all get together, wherever we are, to open it in 2013. We wrote letters to our future selves and mine was quite long because there are so many things that I wanted to ask the future me. I also had a lot of things that I wanted to remind her of, because something might happen (hopefully not) that would make her forget. I told future Ashley that she better not have children yet by that time because she'll only be 23!

Why Inaudible Melodies?

2008-11-08T09:31:00.001-08:00

I realize that I was never able to write about the reason why I chose "Inaudible Melodies" as the title of my blog. Here then:

Inaudible Melodies is a song by Jack Johnson who I think is one of the most creative songwriters of our generation. You can see the lyrics of the song here.

It's not my favorite song, mainly because the rhythm doesn't catch me that much. But the lyrics are remarkable. It talks about the fact that we go through life in such fast-forward pace that we lose sight of the things around us. The human race invents "thinking caps, solar-powered plastic plants", things that constantly increases the speed at which we do things. It's crazy what people come up with every day. "Maybe Eisenstein should just relax".

Because of this, and I am very much guilty of this too, we tend to get so impatient to get things done. We rush to get to places so we build commuter trains, freight trains, bullet trains. They go by so fast that we learn to take for granted the scenery that passes us by. (Although, I realize, the scenery in the LRT1 is not that captivating). When we move to fast we fail to meet new people. We don't experience new sights, sounds, smells, emotions.

I repeat: I'm guilty of this too.

Another line from the song that I think is profound is "silent films are full of sound". How does silence sound like? Is silence the absence of sound or is it a kind of sound?

So in a way, I chose to borrow the name to remind myself to take things slower. I am way too impatient for my own good sometimes.

Fight Against Apathy

2008-11-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

A couple of junior officers in our organization created a fantastic video about the consequences of drug addiction. It's very moving and you see how big a problem it is in the society. I can't and would never dream of imagining the hell that these people brought upon themselves.

Makes you wonder: if you know that taking these drugs would make you hallucinate, imagine horrendous things that would haunt your nightmares... if you know that it violates your body in such a way that it shows in your physical features - you become emaciated, you lose your teeth, etc.... if you know that it is a complete and utter waste of effort and time and money... why would you want to try it in the first place?

Now, I do not want to be called judgmental. I am quite aware that there are circumstances in a person's life that would make you want to find an escape. Frankly though, I think that's a poor excuse. There are things you don't want to think about, sure. There are times when you want to be as detached as you can from this world, make up your own reality perhaps? Believe me, I understand. But demeaning yourself this way is NOT and will NEVER BE the only way.

To digress a little bit, I would like to share with you something that really struck me from a book I was reading the other day. In the book titled "How to Get Ideas", Jack Foster deliberates on a very interesting fact. He said that in school we are taught that there is one answer for every question. It's either true or false. In a multiple choice type of question, there is one letter that you choose which corresponds to the correct answer. Sure, there's sometimes a choice for "all of the above" or "a and b are correct", but those answers also correspond to one letter and that is still just one choice you make. Well Foster says that this stops people from creating ideas because our brains are wired to think of the only way to accomplish something. In real life, however, there is no one absolute answer to a problem.

To put it into context of this entry's topic, there is not just one answer to the problems that might lead people to turn to drugs. You come from a broken home? Get involved in the Church and make that your home. You have relationship troubles with your parents? Find a teacher you can really look up to, or consider the reality that God is your ultimate parent. You want to find an escape? Turn to art. Turn to music. That's what I do. You want to experience a new world, maybe step away from reality for a minute? READ AN ALTERNATE-WORLD NOVEL. Have financial problems? All the more reason you shouldn't do drugs. It is not the only solution to a problem. It's very easy to default to this thinking but I actually believe that the human race can think better than that.

So, finally, here is the video. Kudos to Min and the rest of the JOs in their group! By the way, at the end of the clip, they give credit to the movie "Requiem for a Dream" - the book written by Hubert Shelby, Jr. and the movie adaptation directed by Darren Aronofsky.

SPOOKTACULAR!!!

2008-11-06T07:26:00.000-08:00

What a night!

Tonight, November 6, 2008, was BMS' 2nd General Assembly. The Addam's Family - inspired theme was amazing! I got to dress up as Wednesday Addams:

It's so silly 'coz I've been saying "I want to dress up as Tuesday!!!" the whole week last week! Hahaha..

When we got inside the auditorium, I was really pleasantly surprised to see the turnout. There were even people standing and though I felt bad for them, I was happy that people still came despite the time. Well, the extra credit worked. The BMS officers dressed up as characters from the Addams Family and other halloween staples. My good friend Bab was the host, along with Katie who is a junior officer, and he was dressed up as a clown. (I thought he was gonna be Pugsley!) I dressed up in my Wednesday outfit (I'll upload the pictures in my multiply site), and braided my hair. I tried really really hard not to smile the whole night but alas it was in vain. I'm just really happy in a BMS atmosphere. :D

Ashley's Christmas Wish List 'continued

2008-11-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

Now, here are some of the things on my Christmas wish list. It's a WISH LIST, so I'm sure I'm not getting all of them. But a girl can dream right?

1970 Louis XV Antique White with Gold Trim Baldwin 5 '8 "

I've always wanted a white baby grand piano :) But... it's expensive and no space in the condo.

MAC BOOK AIR

2009 FORD FOCUS COUPE CABRIOLET

Dreamy car....

But if I was a rich girl:

My first choice will always be a Cadillac SLS.

More to come!

Ashley's Christmas Wish List

2008-11-05T10:05:00.001-08:00

It's almost CHRISTMAS! :)

I am totally in the Christmas mood this year. It's so weird (not bad-weird but wonderful-weird) because last year I was really not feeling it. But now I'm really looking forward to December. I'm actually happy that Halloween is finally over.

In the Philippines, Halloween is often not made a very big deal because the Christmas preparations start as early as September - the beginning of the ber months. So come the last week of October, everyone just takes a pause from the Yuletide mood to celebrate Halloween. But we, nevertheless, have almost four months to prepare for my favorite holiday. I'm not an early Christmas shopper though, mostly because I'm afraid that if ever I get gifts early, I might change my mind eventually so it would just be a waste of effort and money. Or maybe I'm just too lazy and making up excuses for it? Haha..

Speaking of Christmas, the Business Management Society is having the 2nd part of our Be My Santa Christmas Drive on the week of November 10-14, 2008. I love this because this is the part where we get to collect all the boxes that close to 300 people signed up for last month. My heart is overwhelmed with the number of people who pledged to be Santas. Aside from collecting the boxes, another thing that I look forward to in this activity next week is decorating the booth!!! During the first part I brought two stuffed toys, one a small bear dressed up in Christmas attire and the other a bear with a hat that has antlers. (Everyone kept debating whether that stuffed toy was a bear or a reindeer).

MARKETING TEAM IN THE BOOTH

ASHLEY AND THE BOXES

We have a lot of fun and exciting ideas to make the booth more Christmas-y to encourage everyone who pledged to submit their boxes. I picked up a lovely gift box last month from one of the parents in the parents association and it was very touching because she had written a letter for the child and it was addressed "to my little angel..." It's nice to know that the cancer patients in the Philippine Children's Medical Center can say that despite all the hardships that their disease brings them, God still gives them a guardian angel in this world.
For more information about the drive, visit http://clehameashley.multiply.com/journal/item/26

Pie-lette

2008-11-04T10:58:00.001-08:00

Finally! I have something that resembles a running site. I've been trying to get this thing started last week but with all the papers and exams I just didn't have the time. I've also had a lot of ideas on what to write but I haven't gotten down to writing them because I felt it was anti-climactic to start a blog with out a pilot entry.

Well it's 3am now, Pilipinas time. Have to get some sleep.

Got the post title from the title of the pilot episode of Pushing Daisies ^_^